Is EFT Couple Counseling right for you?

By Jen Page Hubal, MA, LMFT

I receive many calls from people in our community requesting couple counseling. Sometimes they ask, “What kind of therapy do you do?” This is a very good question because different therapists use different methods for counseling depending on their background and training. I work with couples using Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). EFT is a very effective way to help couples who are having challenges with their relationship.

I chose to work with couples using EFT for two main reasons. First, I wanted a treatment for my clients that could create positive change in their relationship. Second, I wanted the effects of counseling to last over time. Research on the effectiveness of EFT therapy showed that couples receiving EFT had 70-73% recovery rate from marital distress and 90% demonstrated significant improvement (Johnson, 2004).  Therapy results can never be guaranteed, but EFT has been researched for over 20 years and has been shown to help couples create and maintain a healthy relationship with lasting results.

When I work with you using EFT I will be focusing on the relationship between you and your partner in terms of your emotional bond. A healthy bond is created when each partner becomes a source of security and comfort for the other. Couples in marital distress are trapped in negative patterns of interacting that weaken or damage their emotional bond. In many cases couples have been trapped in negative patterns that create resentment, defensiveness, hurt, and conflict. These patterns can be very difficult to recognize when you are “in them”. You may not even know they are there! Perhaps there has been disconnection, resentment and/or conflict for a long time that has worn away at the positive connection you once had. Or maybe there was a negative experience that caused broken trust such as an affair, reoccurring lying or secret use of pornography.

It is possible to learn a new ways of relating to your partner. With EFT, couples learn new ways of interacting that create connection and build a healthy emotional bond. In a healthy bond we feel understood, appreciated, cared for, and secure. EFT couples therapy can be described as a journey from defensiveness, frustration and isolation to emotional engagement, security and a sense of connectedness.

I hope that you decide to give EFT couple counseling a try. My hope for your marriage is that you get connected and stay connected.

Jen Page Hubal, MA, LMFT

Reference:

Johnson, S.M. (2004). Creating connection: The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy. New York, NY: Brunner-Routledge